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Getting Over a Break Up

Getting over a break up is painful, so give yourself time to heal. Getting over a break up is painful, so give yourself time to heal.

Whether you saw the end coming a mile away, or she surprised you out of the blue; getting over a break up is never easy. We’ve all been there. Coasting along in what we think is an ideal relationship, and then for some reason – we find ourselves single once again. It’s a blow to our heart, not to mention our pride, and may leave us wondering what in the world we’re supposed to do next.

Is it really over? This question may repeat in your mind like lyrics from a song you just can’t get out of your head. In most cases, if a girl ends it with you, she means business. If you feel like you need to try and repair the relationship, go ahead. But if she shuts you down (or refuses to hear you out), the sad truth is it probably really is over. Accepting this is your first step to recovery.

Let Go of the Past

You’ve got her picture on your nightstand, her favorite CD in your stereo, and her letters tucked inside your sock drawer. Every time you see any of these reminders, it’s going to bring you pain. Although it may be difficult, you’ve got to get rid of them. If you can’t bring yourself to tear up the pictures and burn the letters, at least put them inside a box and seal it with tape. Put it somewhere deep in the back of your closet or garage where it can’t be easily retrieved. Every little memento and keepsake that makes you think of her needs to be out of sight. It may not mean “out of mind” just yet, but it will definitely help.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Face it; you’re going to be an emotional wreck after a break up. It doesn’t mean you’re a wuss; it means you’re human. Drop the tough guy act and let yourself go through the process of healing. You might not soak your pillow with tears like a woman would (if you do, that’s okay, too), but just allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come over you. Don’t be misled into thinking you’re never going to love again just because you’re shaken up over her loss. When you care about someone, it’s only natural to grieve the death of your relationship. It’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to feel heartbroken. Giving yourself a little bit of time to absorb the blow is a necessary part of getting over a break up.

Don’t Let Her Back In

If your girl has made it clear she has no desire to rekindle your romance, you need to cut off contact with her completely. Don’t ask your friends about how she’s doing, or who she’s with. Resist the urge to call her to see how she is or reminisce about old times. If she calls you, don’t answer the phone. Women sometimes have the tendency to call upon ex-boyfriends when they’re stressed or feeling emotionally vulnerable. Don’t let her mess with you, man! She has girlfriends she can vent to. She lost the right to cry on your shoulder when she dumped you. When you’re over her, and you’ve both moved on (months or maybe years from now), perhaps you’ll be friends. But right now? Stay away.

Get Back in the Saddle

Dating immediately after a break up is never a good idea. Rebound flings usually end with hurt feelings and regret. But after a decent amount of time has passed, it’s time to throw your hat back in the dating ring. Socialize with different people, visit new places, and make new friends. The wider your circle of acquaintances, the better your chances are for meeting The One. You might be a little hesitant at first, wary of getting hurt. This is normal, but don’t let it stop you. The right girl is out there somewhere; you just have to find her.

Getting over a break up may not be easy – in fact it may be one of the hardest things you will ever do. But time really does heal all wounds. Be patient with yourself, and soon enough you will find that perfect someone who makes you forget your ex even existed.

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Getting over a break up faster
Last modified on Friday, 19 October 2012 15:08

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