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Emotional Baggage – How to Deal with Her Erratic Moods

Her emotional baggage may make you think she has multiple personalities Her emotional baggage may make you think she has multiple personalities

Everybody knows women are emotional creatures. We cry when we’re sad, happy, angry, frustrated, or sometimes for no reason at all. Then there are women who have so much emotional baggage you’re surprised you can’t see suitcases. How do you deal with her erratic moods?


Sometimes you need to understand the reasons making up her emotional baggage, but not always. If she’s suffered any form of abuse, you definitely should be aware of what happened to better prepare you for handling emotionally charged situations. If your girl went through a tough break-up, this information is good to have also – for one thing you can be hopeful her baggage isn’t permanent; most women work through past hurts and learn to trust again.

Women face a roller coaster of emotions – usually on a daily basis. Most of the time guys forgive us because we play the hormone card (no man dares argue with PMS), but when we start acting irrational - clingy then distant, friendly then cold - that’s another story.

So how do you deal with a woman who has emotional baggage? First of all, ask yourself if she’s really worth it. If you’re in love with her, by all means put in the time and effort to get it all figured out. But if you keep asking yourself why you’re putting up with her, it might be time to say goodbye.

The most important thing women wish men knew is that when we come to you with our problems, we are not looking for a solution. Men are notorious for their need to fix each and every situation, but while we appreciate your concern – we really just want you to listen. Not your typical one eye on us, one eye on the TV; we want you to listen completely and attentively. It doesn’t hurt to say “I’m listening,” or repeat back what we’ve just told you. This tells us you care about what we have to say, and aren’t just thinking about what you would do to fix it.

When a woman is upset – justifiably or not – she wants you to acknowledge her feelings. Don’t tell her she has no reason to be angry or sad (or whatever emotion she’s expressing), even you if you don’t agree with how she feels. Simply tell her “I can understand why you feel that way.” Be careful not to patronize her though; she’s not looking for condescension, she just wants to express herself without fear of judgment or criticism.

If you’re dealing with a girl who has baggage that’s out of control and it’s affecting your relationship in big ways, it’s time to bring in the big guns. Ask for advice from her closest friends or family members on how to handle her erratic emotions. If they’re no help, consider couple’s therapy. A professional will have valuable insights and suggestions on how to save a destructive relationship.

If you’re with a woman who carries around excess baggage, whether it’s die-hard feelings for an ex, or commitment issues – you have to fully invest in the relationship and be willing to do whatever it takes to help her let it all go. If you’ve made the decision that she’s worth it, remind yourself why you love her and focus on her positive points. In time you’ll help her carry that baggage to the curb – and leave it there.

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Does she have emotional baggage or is she just a flake?
Last modified on Thursday, 04 October 2012 13:36

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